Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
4/21	243	-4	44.4	1878	413	49.0	119
4/29	238.5	-4.5	43.6	1859	432	49.1	117.0
5/12	232.5	-6	42.5	1832	420	47.7	111.01
4/27	228.5	-4	41.8	1815	418	47%	107.5
6/24	226	-2	41.3	1804	415	46%	105
		36
Goal	145	-80

I had a little break, where I stopped updating this. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped.

I also gained weight. I was up to 231 again. So, technically, I just lost five pounds.

Well, I'm back.

I'm totally going to run off six pounds this next week. I'm down to where I was when I was working at Peets! This is exactly where I was when I was "Healthier"

I'm back.

Now I need to work on my emotional wellbeing, keep myself busy.

Must get into running, must enjoy running!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
4/21	243	-4	44.4	1878	413	49.0	119
4/29	238.5	-4.5	43.6	1859	432	49.1	117.0
5/12	232.5	-6	42.5	1832	420	47.7	111.01
4/27	228.5	-4	41.8	1815	418	47%	107.5
		34
Goal	145	-83

Last week was terriable. I had an OBGYN appointment, so I had a minor breakdown last tuesday and didn't make my meeting. So, now there's this going on, and I'm back!

Almost 35#, which I'm sure that it would have been more if I'd of gone to the gym and stuff...

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
4/21	243	-4	44.4	1878	413	49.0	119
4/29	238.5	-4.5	43.6	1859	432	49.1	117.0
5/12	232.5	-6	42.5	1832	420	47.7	111.01
		30
Goal	145	-87

Well, I lost my little sheet last week, so I wasn't able to update, but I has it this week, and I'm actually sitting in my class.

I like going to this class, because I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest, and I really like to make people laugh...so it's a good thing for me. I get to make people laugh!

Anywho, off I go. I'm satisfied with my progress!

I really do need to get back up into the gym!!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
4/21	243	-4	44.4	1878	413	49.0	119
4/29	238.5	-4.5	43.6	1859	432	49.1	117.0
Goal	145	-93

So, down another couple of steps.

Going to start doing the gym twice a day now, in the morning and in the evening. I've noticed I've lost more inches than pounds, and, according to this chart, I've lost around 30lbs in five weeks. I'm starting week six of my diet. But I really want food righ now. I want to cheat, but apart from very planed cheats, I'm not going to do it on a whim.

I"m kicking my ass doing this. I'm going to make it. I feel a lot better wearing my clothes, my co-workers were asking if I'd bought larger clothes, but I was just smaller in them. ^_^

Anywho, back to my class!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
4/21	243	-4	44.4	1878	413	49.0	119
Goal	145	-98

Due to the rate at which I gain muscle I've rethought my goal weight.

I'm aiming 15 pounds higher than I was before, because, according to this machine I'm already at 124 in muscle, guts, bones, brains and other good stuff.

I'm under a hundred pounds now though, since I've re-thought that.

Deserves a celebration.

I'm going to go dye my hair.

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
4/15	247.0	+1	45.2	1896	390	48.5	120.0
Goal	130	-114

Well, it looks bad, right? I gained a pound! WTF?!

::laughs:: No, look further on down the chart! To the right.

See that down there at the furthest end? Where it says that I've lost eight pounds in fat? Boo yah baby! I'm still squishy in the middle, I'm still wearing pants that I wasn't able to wear a month or so ago.

I'm actually not discouraged at all! I'm proud of myself. I'm sticking to the diet!

I'm going to take less soups next week I think, go back to one a day, maybe five shakes and one soup, since the bars are really difficult for me to eat.

Anywho, I'm on my way!

Still working on the shakes and bars. I'm still having a seriously hard time finishing them all off in a day. I've had...three today.

I don't know if it's because I'm so bored with it that I don't want to eat, or the physcal job of getting them all down is difficult, or if I'm just that depressed that eating for nutrition has taken such a back seat.

I dunno, I guess I'll just try better tomorrow. I'm still down a two shakes and one bar today...O.o

Maybe I should switch back to one soup a day, and the rest shakes, maybe I'll pay more attention to that. I bet I will. I'll give that a try.

Cro had pasta tonight. I love pasta, but I know I'll love the clothes I can wear when I'm done with this.

I go weigh myself tomorrow.

I think that will be FAR more satisfying than a bowl of my favorite multicolored pasta!

So, remember those pants I said I want to wear by the end of the month?

I wore them all day today.

We're going to go to Hot Topic and get a pair of pants I want to wear...and keep them until I can wear them. I think this is a highly motivational idea, because I love that Hot Topic style!

I wanted to go for a long walk today, but it was way too hot in the valley to do so. So, instead, I'm going to go to 24 hour fitness and sign up there so I can go swimming in the mornings. The feeling of excercising is awesome, and I want to be able to swim again, because I was at my lowest weight ever when I was swimming.

Anyway, that's that.

I think one of the major things that this diet is teaching me is that I can be stronger than my cravings.

I'm VERY SERIOUSLY craving things like Burger King, I want a big greasy drippy whopper with Mayo, no tomato, and cheese. The more I think about it, the more I can outright taste it.

But, I drove past four Burger Kings today. I walked into Safeway, got the BBQ sauce I wanted, and the Manga Studio book I wanted, and didn't even think about all the other food around me.

It's not so much...IGNORING food that I think they're trying to cultivate, but the fact that I don't need to give in, the fact that I can survive without that Whopper, and go home and STILL be satisfied by chicken soup (That I still need to eat tonight...)

I have NOT cheated. Not once. There is nothing I've eaten that isn't on the program. I have stuck to it so hard. For a few reasons. Because of the pride I spoke of before, and the fact that people are backing me up.

When I say I want to go eat, they promise to go with me in August, the tell me how much weight I've already lost, or tell me how proud of me that I haven't cheated.

Hell, *I'm* proud of me. I could have cheated and gone ahead and told everyone I haven't cheated...but I haven't...because that would have been cheating myself out of victory.

And 17 lbs, and two weeks later...I still feel like I can do it. I feel like I can press on, keep drinking my dinners...and keep going.

My own willpower will bring my own success. And, I know that as this goes on, my own power, and the strength and support of those around me will keep me away from that Whopper.

And, in August, someone can buy me a whopper Jr. ::smiles:: Then I'll go to the gym and work it all off again!!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
4/8	246.0	-7	45.0	1891	488	52.0	128.0
Goal	130	-114

Still having a hard time finishing all of the shakes I'm supposed to in a day. It's really, really hard on me. I'm trying reducing the amount of water I put in them so that I'm able to finish them in a reasonable amount of time.

I've also switched to three shakes, two soups and a chocolate bar. I was looking forward to the soup SO MUCH every day that I decided to get two. And I just need a bar to nom on because I do want something to chew on.

I just wanted to take a little bit to say I'm proud of myself.

I know that's an arrogant thing to say, but I don't care. I'm proud.

When I go out with my friends or family to go eat...I don't. I have NOT had anything (Apart from some spices) that was not part of my optifast plan to eat or drink. (Tea is allowed however, and I have had some of that.)

I'm suprising myself with my own strength at this. Part of the reason I got so fat is because of low willpower, and unchecked eating.

This diet has been a true test of my willpower. Food is avaliable very where around me, everywhere I turn. I could have a soda, I could "Cheat" and have a taco...

But I haven't.

Part of it is the cost of the program. I want it to succeed because I am paying so much for it TO succeed.

Another part of it is the disappointment in myself if this doesn't work.

But the biggest part would be the disappointing other people. When I SERIOUSLY crave Taco Bell, I sit back for a moment and think "If I ate this, I would disappoint: _______."

That, to me, is an extremely powerful motivator to keep me from failing on this. The flip side, the pride I want to feel from everyone occassionally isn't powerful enough to keep me on track. I feel proud of myself, and naturally want to share that pride with everyone else.

Everyone cheering me on is keeping me on the OptiFast plan. My friends, my family, my support groups in the OptiFast program and over at team_fatty

Tomorrow I'll be putting together some clothes to wear to the gym. My friends and I have found a gym ten minutes from work, and we're all planning on going together for a half hour of the standing/walking machines, and a half hour of swimming. I'm really looking forward to this.

I know the plan is succeeding, not only in the 9 pounds I was able to see last week, but the fact I can now pretty much slide pants that were so tight that they would give me stomach aches, down over my hips.

I'd like to be able to wear those size 40 cargo pants I bought a while ago by the end of the month. I think that four weeks is more than enough time.

I'm also going to begin adding tape measure measurements to my weight loss posts. I just need a handy list of what to measure, and to get Cro to help me actually measureing.

I want to see the numbers go down as things tighten up...Due to both the diet and working out.

the weight that has already come off has inspired me to take more off. This is why excercising alone didn't work, I never saw any inprovement.

This is working.

So, I was thinking while I was driving today, and I was thinking what an emense punishment being overweight is.

However, being on a diet is a worse punishment yet.

Ive never realized what a social stigma being overweight actually is.

Recently, I was invited out to dinner with some friends. Due to being on a diet I declined. I then felt as if it was very awkward when I actually did go to dinner with some friends.

Our "reward" for doing so good on GI is a dinner. That I will not be able to attend.

Being fat, everyone gives you the look that you should be eating.
Being on a diet, you don't GET to go eat. People feel uncomfortable around you with food, and you know it's pity that they're feeling.

Kind of sucks.

Oh well.

Being a normal weight will remove other social stigmas.

Such as not being looked down on when I eat...

Let's do stats first, because I'm excited!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
4/1	253.0	-9	46.3	1922	411	50.3	127.0
Goal	130	-123

Hell yeah! Lookit that! I lost NINE pounds!

The Ready to Drink shakes are crap, so I asked about switching some of those out (Which I got to!) and I stuck to my guns through my cravings. (God, I SO want Taco Bell right now...::weeps::) But that nine pounds...wow. Nine pounds.

I also got a 30 day pass to 24 hour fitness. I'm thinking of inviting Jessica and Wolfie to come with me for evening swimming or areobic walking.

I don't think I'll drop nine pounds next week (Though, if I do, that'd rock!) but sofar I'm satisfied. I'm enjoying this diet, and I know as soon as I start excercising I'll be feeling EVEN BETTER about it.

(Though still craving Taco Bell and Burger King....)

Well, tomorrow I start my new diet.

I'm kind of excited about it.

I made little packages for each day, six "meals" apiece, each with one of each of the following things:

1 Premade chocolate shake (About the size of a apple juice box)
1 Premade Vanilla shake (same size)
1 Package of Chocolate powder for another shake (The reason is that the pre made things are a little more expensive)
1 Package of Vanilla powder
1 Package of Chicken Soup flavored powder (For something salty and warm!)
and
1 Chocolate bar

I'm not entirely sure of the order of things, but since I'm getting up at five AM tomorrow, I figure I'll have a shake then as I leave (Either chocolate or vanilla)
Have a mixemup shake for snack and lunch,
have a bar for another snack
soup for dinner
then the other premade shake for dinner

Sounds like a plan to me!

The kind of neat thing about this plan is I have not only weekly doctor appointments, but weekly support. We've got a great group, it seems as if everyone is ready to be honest, and ready to be there for one another. ::Waves to all of the folks from the group!::

I gave them this URL for this journal because some of them are Web Savvy!

Alright, well, you guys came here for Stats!

Date	Weight	Change	BMI	BMR	Impedance	Fat%	Fat Mass
2/18	258.0 lbs	start	47.2	1944	392	51.1%	129.5lb
3/25	262	+4	47.9	1961	352	48.7	127.5lb
Goal	130	-132